Why does your child run into difficulty?
Why does your child run into difficulty? Over the years, I have met many children who fail to concentrate in class and many who have poor writing skills. I have met children who don’t want to go school at all; some who ‘hate maths’ or reading; others who consistently under-perform, underachieve, daydream, or disrupt. Some parents – and teachers – think that whatever it is, is to do with the child’s personality or nature, however, my experience has led me to interpret this differently. I now believe that by and large, we give children only half the education they really need and that the vast majority of issues that arise are children’s reactions to the world we are in.
Changes in life over the last fifty years
Changes in life over the last fifty years, have been so fast and varied that the world your children have been born into is completely different to the one you were born into and it is still changing. The year that I was born there were 2.25 billion people on this planet; now there are over 7 billion! I don’t know about you, but I call that significant change!
The way we live, communicate and work has changed dramatically, certainly since my childhood and probably since most of your childhoods as well. I remember the head teacher when I was in primary school asking in assembly who had been ‘on an aeroplane’. One person put up their hand! Now, if you walk into most primary schools, you will find many children who wouldn’t be there at all if they hadn’t arrived on an aeroplane!!
Now there is a lot more:
- noise;
- more distraction;
- greater access to everything;
- the internet;
- less downtime;
- more pressure on us all;
- higher expectations;
- poorer quality nourishment;
- increased speed in just about everything and yet, the one thing that has remained constant in it all is what a child actually is, what they need and how they work and develop.
In other words, your child is born with exactly the same ‘equipment’, senses and sensitivity as you were, but they have to process much, much more and at a faster rate than you did at their age and many of them are clearly struggling in ways that you and I did not.
How I help
All this has led me to interpret children’s behaviour, attitude to work, presentation and so on as a reflection of what is happening on the inside of the child, mentally, physically and/or emotionally. To get to the core and deliver exactly what that child needs to shine, I gather as much evidence as I can by having a consultation with parents, scrutinising school reports and any other evidence that may be relevant before meeting the child to do my own, individual assessment. Working intuitively, I put the evidence together and present parents my feedback and recommendations as part of the process.
I have uncovered many reasons for a child to have poor writing skills. It can be a sign that they have low self esteem or poor confidence, (they weren’t born with it, so where did it come from?), or they may have missed the lessons and haven’t caught up, (in which case a tutor will be perfect!) but it can also reflect difficulty in managing an emotional or developmental issue and they need the reference to be able to think about it differently.
Lead from the front
If a child fails to concentrate in class, they are obviously ‘busy’ in their heads. I have found many reasons for this, too, such as: too much screen time which over-stimulates the brain or some kind of learning need that is not being met; it could be that there was a life event that interrupted their development process at a crucial stage years before and they need to understand the process, the expectations and how to relegate it.
For our children:
- to do well,
- to develop pride,
- to reach potential,
- to have self respect and great personal management and qualities,
we need to stop leaving it to chance and provide the best lessons in life as well as in school. We need to lead from the front, not rely on the child to direct us but learn to anticipate, interpret and respond appropriately to their developmental needs as they arise in their experience of what they meet in the world.
To find out more about the work of the Learning Mentor, Gail Hugman, follow my blogs here:
https://lessonsalive.com/category/blog/
Website: www.lessonsalive.com
Gail’s e-book, ‘A Short and Simple Book for the Why’s’ can be downloaded now from Amazon, Kobo and Nook
To book a private consultation or a talk for your school or organisation: Gail Hugman, the Learning Mentor can be called on +44 208 447 1200.
Leave a Reply